Report: Albert’s Drug Addiction Couldn’t Have Worked Out Better For Charles
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports from the small farming community indicate that Albert’s morphine addiction had…
Report: Albert’s Drug Addiction Couldn’t Have Worked Out Better For Charles
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports from the small farming community indicate that Albert’s morphine addiction had a silver lining: getting Charles Ingalls a better job. “Now, I don’t want to make it sound like I love the fact that Albert had an addiction,” Charles clarifies. “I just think that there was a good thing about it,…
Breaking: Caroline Ingalls Dazzles With Her Command Of Geography
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources reveal that Caroline Ingalls recently dazzled her dinner companions with her command of geography when she revealed that she knew New York was thousands of miles away. “It’s me, I’m the source,” husband Charles Ingalls reveals. “I didn’t really want to make a big deal of it at the time since Adam…
Robert E Feels Lucky Law Doesn’t Question How Sully Got All Those Horses
Colorado Springs, Co.– Recent reports indicate that town blacksmith and town council member Robert E is awash with relief that no one has questioned his role in procuring horses for Sully’s use in a staged revolt. While Byron Sully remains missing, believed by some to be dead, Robert E has concerns but remains overall grateful…
Editorial: Who Does Charles Ingalls Think He Is?
Hello, I’m the man on the fire engine that Charles Ingalls told to put out the flame on the hot air balloon and I have just one question: who does he think he is? Let me set the scene here. We’re just enjoying our afternoon at the fair, doing the occasional demo of our new…
Breaking: Charles Ingalls Provides Healing With Single Conversation
Walnut Grove, Minn.– Reports indicate that Charles Ingalls has provided emotional healing to a devastated man with a single conversation. Jonathan Garvey, who recently lost his wife Alice in the blind school fire, abandoned his excessive drinking and returned to being a caring father after spending just a few minutes with Charles. Charles Ingalls points…
Sully Responsible For Second Life Threatening Head Injury
Colorado Springs, Co.– Recent reports indicate that area mountain man Sully is responsible for a life threatening head injury for the second time. Widely known for taking his eyes off Brian as he climbed a tree during story time just last year–an event which led to Brian’s trying to fly out a tree and obtaining…
Area Employer Labors Under Misconception That Washing Dishes Feat Of Strength
Perhaps Phoenix, Arizona- Sources report that an area employer mistakenly believes that washing dishes requires great strength. Laura Ingalls Wilder, in town for the summer to attend a reading seminar at the university, requires employment to pay her way. Although she wished to tutor, a lack of availability in that area led her to seek…
Kyle Demands Reverend Admit Wrongdoing In Assessment Of Halloween Story
Colorado Springs, Co.- Recent reports from the small mountain town indicate that area bad boy Kyle is seeking validation from the Reverend regarding his storytelling skills. Recently, the Reverend-turned-schoolteacher directed the class to write Halloween stories. While he reprimanded Kyle for writing a story that is too dark, he commended Brian and suggested he seek…
Report: Charles Doing Something With A Big Load Right Now
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Area sources confirm that Charles Ingalls is busy doing something with a load right now. Whether it is packing up a load, delivering a load, or taking inventory of a load upon delivery, it seems that Charles is constantly working on a load in some form. “It’s like his whole life revolves…
Report: Dr. Mike Shocked By How Fast Hair Goes Gray
Colorado Springs, Co.-In a surprising moment of vulnerability, Dr. Michaela “Mike” Quinn has revealed that the most distressing part of her glimpse into Christmas future was not that she was visited by a ghost, nor was it that she didn’t have answers on who her husband would be or why Matthew has children but is…
